May 2013
me: time for bed
stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
me: ok
ohyousillypotato:
what i’m looking for in a man:
will lend me his hoodies
good sense of humor
is a cutie patootie
will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood
good taste in music
hitlersbreastmilk:
IF CATS COULD TALK THEY WOULD PROBABLY ACT LIKE REALLY JUDGEMENTAL SOUTHERN BELLE MOMS WHO HATE THEIR KIDS
“The most difficult part of birth is the first year afterwards. It is the year of...”
– Joy Kusek (via thebeautyofbeingborn)
Love this truth… (via strippeddownnaked)
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the...”
– Stephen R. Covey (via fakeville)
When my skinny friend says she's feeling fat
whatshouldwecallme:
